Psychometric study of academic self efficacy scale

Psychometric study of academic self efficacy scale The development of Malaysia industries, infrastructures and ensuring the general well being of the country by Malaysian engineers cannot be underestimated. A new of engineering education model have been introduced to develop the interpersonal skills deal with public effectively as well as the technically competent ( Johari, 2002). In order to develop the interpersonal skills among Malaysia future engineers, a research in psychology well being have to be done. A psychometric analysis is most important part to get a valid and reliable psychology research for predicting the interpersonal skills among students. Standardized testing procedures are essential to valid testing. An invalid and misleading of the test result may alter by using of nonstandard procedures (Gregory, 2007). The psychological test is an effective tool in measuring the attitude and mental ability. It assesses their efficiency in acquiring knowledge relevant to the job and putting what they learn to practice. The test measures emotional stability, and skills such as analytical and problem-solving skills, human communication and leadership skills. The standard procedure for measuring beliefs of personal efficacy includes number of safeguards to minimize any potential motivational effects of self-assessment. These safeguards are built into the instructions and the mode of administration. Self-efficacy judgments are recorded privately without personal identification to reduce social evaluative concerns. The assessments of perceived efficacy and behavior are conducted in different settings and by different assessors to remove any possible carryover of social influence from assessment to the performance setting (Bandura, 1984). For example, in this case, The College Academic Self efficacy scale (Owen Froman, 1988) indicates that students perceptions of their abilities to perform tasks, greatly influences their success. The importance of validity and reliable measure of the sources of self-efficacy is needed. First, self-efficacy beliefs play a critical role in the academic and career choices of students (Hackett, 1995). It is important for educators or a counselors to be well known of the factors that help create and nurture the self-efficacy beliefs of their students. This information is invaluable in helping educators tailor their instructional strategies and counseling practices in ways most supportive both of their students self-efficacy and also of their achievement. Educators and counselors can also make use of such assessments as they evaluate the manner in which academic programs and intervention strategies may influence the self-efficacy beliefs of the adolescents in their care. All professional educators would readily agree that identifying the ways in which students unrealistically low self-efficacy beliefs can be challenged and altered is an essential and critical enterprise. Another important reason why a psychometrically sound assessment of the sources of self-efficacy is required is that the tenets of Banduras (1986) social cognitive theory regarding the workings of self-efficacy cannot effectively be tested without such assessment. Researchers who wish to understand the formation of academic self-efficacy must obtain that understanding using valid and reliable measures that faithfully reflect the sources hypothesized and their role within the broader structure of social cognitive theory. This is especially important in the field of academic motivation where the sources of self-efficacy have often been operationalized and measured in a manner that bears little resemblance to how they were hypothesized by Bandura (1986, 1997). This study will be able to craft items to assess each source by matching them carefully to each source as it that has been described by Bandura (1997). The researcher next sought to establish a psychometrically fit model to measure the sources of self-efficacy and to test whether the model is invariant across demographic factors and the correlation with social support. This study will be also examined evidence for convergent and factor analysis by assessing the relationship between the sources, self-efficacy, and other constructs typically included in studies of academic motivation. College Students self-efficacy beliefs have been found to play an important role in motivating them to learn (Pajares Schunk, 2001). Self-efficacy refers to beliefs about ones capability to learn or perform effectively, such as to solve a particular type of math problem. Self-efficacy differs operationally from other self-related constructs in that self-efficacy items are phrased in terms of what students can do rather than what they will do or usually do in a particular domain (Bandura, 2006). An important type of self-efficacy focuses on students beliefs about their capability to self-regulate learning (SRL), which refers to such processes as goal setting, self-monitoring, strategy use, self-evaluation, and self-reactions (Zimmerman, 2007). Research has indicated that self efficacy correlates with achievement outcomes (Bandura, 1997; Pajares, 1996; Schunk, 1995). Students with high self efficacy often display greater performance comparatively to those with low efficacy. Self efficacy is also equated with self competence, hence significant authorities such as parents and teachers who exert great influences should play their role efficiently in enhancing this self competence and eventually self efficacy for it has great bearings in achievement, be it in the English language or any other subjects ( Mahyuddin.R, 2006). 1.2 Problem Statement This study concentrates on the psychometric properties and application of the Academic Self-Efficacy Scale and its relationship with social supports and students life satisfaction. Through the haze of available measurements in self efficacy, may of them offering weak or unknown psychometric properties, and unlikely that self-efficacy can penetrate clearly (Owen and Froman, 1988). Items in Self efficacy scale should accurately reflect the construct. Self efficacy is concerned with perceived capability. Self efficacy should also be distinguished from other constructs such as self esteem, locus of control, self regulation and outcome expectancies. Scientific advances are greatly accelerated by methodological development of assessment tools for key determinants of human functioning. Quality of assessment provides the basis for stringent empirical tests of theory. Self efficacy assessment tailored to domains of functioning and task demands identify patterns of strengths and limitations in perceived capability (Bandura, 1997). The academic self efficacy and self efficacy in learning have been widely investigate by western researchers and educators. For Malaysian researcher, the study of academic self efficacy is quite constrictive. There are several significance to investigate the psychometric properties of the academic self efficacy scale that will be discussed in part significance of the study. Researchers have previously investigated predictors affecting students decision to pursue higher education. Predictors include primary and secondary school preparations, family dynamics, self esteem, commitment to goals and social support systems. Yet, with all the services available to students and the research conducted to better understand factor associated with the above issues, there are some students who never successfully assimilate into and navigate through the university system (Shaw, N. E, 2008). Owen and Fromans (1988) College Academic Self-Efficacy Scale was selected for this study because it was different from most academic self-efficacy instruments. CASES was unique in that the instrument investigates feelings of academic self-efficacy as a whole as opposed to teasing out individual constructs or areas of academic self-efficacy such as English, mathematics, and reading. Owen and Froman (1988) also believed that CASES can give specific diagnostic findings that can influence holistic change to increase overall academic self-efficacy. This study is unique because one of its objectives was not to simply find a relationship between self efficacy, academic motivation and academic achievement, but to also explore how the psychometric properties is significance before the researcher conduct a test. The study attempted to focus on the mediating variable that would explain the relationship between self efficacy, academic motivation and academic achievement. 1.3 Research Question The research questions are listed as below; i) Do the ASES scores demonstrate adequate internal consistency reliability, convergent validity and factor analysis of the testing for the college students? ii) Are there significant differences in the level of academic self efficacy experienced by male and female students? iii) Are there significant differences in the level of academic self efficacy experienced by students with the level of parents education and income? iv) Is there a relationship between college academic self-efficacy and social support? v) is there a relationship between academic self efficacy and life satisfaction? 1.4 Research Objectives: i) To examine the psychometric properties of a Academic Self efficacy Scale to estimate the students self-efficacy. ii) To identify the levels of self efficacy among engineering students in tertiary education iii) To identify the relationship of self efficacy with demographic factors. iv) To identify the relationship of academic self efficacy with students social supports. v) To identify the relationship of academic self efficacy with life satisfaction. 1.5 Significance of the study Many studies in educational and psychological literature revealed that measurement of self-efficacy is important in the field of education because of its key role and relationships with many other variables, which have great influences on education. For this reason, self efficacy measurements and the development of an effective measurement tool with respect to psychometric properties have become an important issue and major concern. The educators can nurture student self-direction and personal efficacy by providing students with opportunities before, during and after instruction to exercise some control of their own learning. An emphasis on student self-direction and efficacy means that educators teach and engage students in specific strategies that offer them opportunities to make decisions and solve problems on their own without being told what to do at all times. It means, the educators can provide them with strategies designed to help them process information effectively and to be self-confident, believing that they have the abilities to succeed. And perhaps most important, we help students become more reflective about their thinking and learning processes. The perceived attractiveness of the field of engineering and the attrition of engineering students are important issues that are significantly influenced by self-efficacy beliefs. In order to address these problems, educators must gain a better understanding of how students assess their confidence in their abilities to complete the tasks that they find necessary to succeed in engineering fields with their engineering self-efficacy beliefs (Hutchison, 2007). Self-efficacy can influence peoples behavior either positively or negatively, based on their perception of their abilities concerning a particular task. It influences the choices people make, the effort they put forth, and how long they persist in the face of obstacles and failure. The efficacy beliefs of undergraduate students in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) programs have been linked to their persistence, achievement and interest. 1.6 Limitation of the study The psychometric study will only focus on The College Academic Self Efficacy Scale(CASES) which was develop by Owen and Froman (1988). This instrument also will be used to study the level of academic self efficacy among students. The sample only will be focus on engineering undergraduates. This study only will be done in Higher Public universities in term of geographical, cultural and course offered by the universities. 1.7 Definition of the Terms Psychometric Psychometrics is the field of study concerned with the theory and technique of educational and psychological measurement, which includes the measurement of knowledge, abilities, attitudes, and personality traits. The field is primarily concerned with the study of measurement instruments such as questionnaires and tests. It involves two major research tasks, namely: (i) the construction of instruments and procedures for measurement; and (ii) the development and refinement of theoretical approaches to measurement. In this study, the psychometric analysis will be involved the reliability and validity analysis. In this research, the psychometric analysis will be involved reliability, convergent validity and confirmatory factor analysis. Academic Self efficacy Academic self-efficacy refers to individuals convictions that they can successfully perform given academic tasks at designated levels (Schunk, 1991). In this study, academic self efficacy will be demonstrated by the College Academic Self-Efficacy Scale (CASES) developed by Owen Froman (1988). College Academic Self-Efficacy Scale (CASES) College Academic Self-Efficacy Scale (CASES) refers to an instruments which was developed by Owen Froman (1988) in order to assess students belief that they can master the material and skills thought in university. The CASES was used in order to measure students levels of perceived academic self-efficacy. The scale contained 33-item with five-point Likert-type instruction to be appended. Social supports Life satisfaction A global assessment of a persons quality of life, dependent on the values and criteria deemed important by the individual (Shin Johnson, 1978). Engineering students Engineering students refers for those whom learned and willing to do the creative application of scientific principles to design or develop structures, machines, apparatus, or manufacturing processes, or works utilizing them singly or in combination; or to construct or operate the same with full cognizance of their design; or to forecast their behavior under specific operating conditions; all as respects an intended function, economics of operation and safety to life and property. In this study, engineering students refers to first year students from four selected public universities which includes Universiti Malaysia Perlis (UNIMAP), Universiti Teknologi Malaysia(UTM), Universiti Putra malaysia and Universiti Teknikal Malaysia Melaka. Chapter 2 REVIEW OF LITERATURE 2.1 Introduction This chapter will review and summarize the model and social cognitive theory and also self efficacy by Bandura (1997). The researcher has also focused on psychometrics analysis such as validity and reliability. The primary goal of understanding how students from engineering self efficacy beliefs, Bandura (1997) self efficacy beliefs, Bandura (1997) self-efficacy theory was selected to guide the research. 2.2 Social cognitive theory The selection of a guiding theoretical construct is directed by the questions a study seeks to answer (Patton,2002). The social cognitive theory aimed to focus attention on the significant role played by observational learning and vicarious reinforcement in human functioning. Bandura (1977) developed his theory to further include the essential component of self beliefs holds as a factor in human behavior. Social cognitive theory holds that human behavior, adaptation and change are based on cognitive, vicarious, self-regularotary and self reflective processes, rather than reactive responses as claimed in behaviorist theories. BEHAVIOR PERSONAL FACTORS ENVIRONMENTAL (Cognitive, affective, and FACTORS biological events) Figure 1.. Model of the relations between the three classes of determinants in Banduras (1986) conception of triadic reciprocality Figure 1 shows the model of the relations between the three classes of determinants in Banduras (1986) conception of triadic reciprocality. People are viewed as self-organizing, proactive, self-reflecting and self-regulating rather than as reactive organisms shaped and shepherded by environmental forces or driven by concealed inner impulses. From this theoretical perspective, human functioning is viewed as the product of a dynamic interplay of personal, behavioral, and environmental influences. For example, how people interpret the results of their own behavior informs and alters their environments and the personal factors they possess which, in turn, inform and alter subsequent behavior. This is the foundation of Banduras (1986) conception of reciprocal determinism, the view that (a) personal factors in the form of cognition, affect, and biological events, (b) behavior, and (c) environmental influences create interactions that result in a triadic reciprocality. Bandura altered the l abel of his theory from social learning to social cognitive both to distance it from prevalent social learning theories of the day and to emphasize that cognition plays a critical role in peoples capability to construct reality, self-regulate, encode information, and perform behaviors. 2.3 Self Efficacy Beliefs The self-beliefs that individuals use to exercise a measure of control over their environments include self-efficacy beliefs. beliefs in ones capability to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations (Bandura, 1997, p. 2). Self-efficacy beliefs are concerned with individuals perceived capabilities to produce results and to attain designated types of performance, they differ from related conceptions of personal competence that form the core constructs of other theories. Self-efficacy judgments are both more task- and situation-specific, contextual if you will, and individuals make use of these judgments in reference to some type of goal. To better understand the nature of self-efficacy beliefs it may be useful to explain how they are acquired, how they influence motivational and self-regulatory process, and how they differ from similar or related conceptions of self-belief. According to Bandura, there are four major sources of self-efficacy. 1. Mastery Experiences The most effective way of developing a strong sense of efficacy is through mastery experiences, Bandura explained (1994). Performing a task successfully strengthens our sense of self-efficacy. However, failing to adequately deal with a task or challenge can undermine and weaken self-efficacy. 2. Social Modeling Witnessing other people successfully completing a task is another important source of self-efficacy. According to Bandura, Seeing people similar to oneself succeed by sustained effort raises observers beliefs that they too possess the capabilities master comparable activities to succeed (1994). 3. Social Persuasion Bandura also asserted that people could be persuaded to belief that they have the skills and capabilities to succeed. Consider a time when someone said something positive and encouraging that helped you achieve a goal. Getting verbal encouragement from others helps people overcome self-doubt and instead focus on giving their best effort to the task at hand. 4. Psychological Responses Our own responses and emotional reactions to situations also play an important role in self-efficacy. Moods, emotional states, physical reactions, and stress levels can all impact how a person feels about their personal abilities in a particular situation. A person who becomes extremely nervous before speaking in public may develop a weak sense of self-efficacy in these situations. However, Bandura also notes it is not the sheer intensity of emotional and physical reactions that is important but rather how they are perceived and interpreted (1994). By learning how to minimize stress and elevate mood when facing difficult or challenging tasks, people can improve their sense of self-efficacy. Bandura (1986) considered self-reflection the most uniquely human capability, for through this form of self-referent thought people evaluate and alter their own thinking and behavior. These self-evaluations include perceptions of self-efficacy, that is, beliefs in ones capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations. These beliefs of personal competence affect behavior in several ways. They influence the choices individuals make and the courses of action they pursue. People engage in tasks in which they feel competent and confident and avoid those in which they do not. Efficacy beliefs help determine how much effort people will expend on an activity, how long they will persevere when confronting obstacles, and how resilient they will prove in the face of adverse situations-the higher the sense of efficacy, the greater the effort, persistence, and resilience. Efficacy beliefs also influence individuals thought patterns and emotional reactions. People with low self-efficacy may believe that things are tougher than they really are, a belief that fosters stress, depression, and a narrow vision of how best to solve a problem. High self-efficacy, on the other hand, helps to create feelings of serenity in approaching difficult tasks and activities. As a result of these influences, self-efficacy beliefs are strong determinants and predictors of the level of accomplishment that individuals finally attain. For these reasons, Bandura (in press) argued that beliefs of personal efficacy constitute the key factor of human agency . 2.4 Engineering Self Efficacy Numerous studies examining the role of self efficacy in students pursuit of engineering careers have generally found a positive correlation between self-efficacy and academic achievement in engineering disciplines (AWE, 2005). For example, it has been found that ones self-efficacy beliefs influence on effort, persistence, and perseverance in goal attainment (Bandura Schunk, 1981; Bouffard-Bouchard, 1990; Schunk Hanson, 1985). Similar findings reveal that high self-efficacy beliefs influence the academic persistence necessary to maintain high academic achievement amongst college students enrolled in science and engineering courses (Lent, Brown, Larkin, 1984, 1986). Previous research also has clearly made the case that the construct of engineering self efficacy can be an important contributor to success in science, technology, engineering or mathematics (STEM) career education by influencing the choice to pursue STEM careers and the persistence with which it is pursued. Hutchison et al (2006) have done a survey incorporating qualitative measures of student self-efficacy beliefs to administer 1,387 first-year engineering students enrolled in ENGR 106, Engineering Problem-Solving and Computer Tools, at Purdue University. The survey was designed to identify factors related to students self-efficacy beliefs, their beliefs about their capabilities to perform the tasks necessary to achieve a desired outcome. Open-ended questions prompted students to list factors affecting their confidence in their ability to succeed in the course. Students were then asked to rank these factors based on the degree to which their self-efficacy beliefs were influenced. Gender trends emerged in student responses to factors that affect confident in success. These trends are discussed in light of the categories identified by efficacy theorists as sources of self-efficacy beliefs. The results presented here provide a useful look at the first-year engineering experiences that inf luence students efficacy beliefs, an important consideration in explaining student achievement, persistence, and interest. 2.5 Academic self efficacy Bandura (1997) believed that self-efficacy contributes to the academic achievement of students. Bandura proposed that individuals make a cognitive judgment about their mastery of present situations in view of their past experiences, and proceed to carry out the necessary behaviors to accomplish the task at hand. Students are affected by personal (e.g., goal setting, information processing) and situational influences (e.g., rewards, teacher feedback) that provide students with cues about how well they are learning. Self-efficacy is enhanced when students perceive they are performing well or becoming more skillful. Lack of success or slow progress will not necessarily lower self-efficacy if learners believe they can perform better by expending more effort or using more effective strategies (Schunk, 1995). Schunk (1991) in his study has also proposed that self-efficacy is critical to the academic achievement of adolescents. He hypothesized that self-efficacy influences a students choice of activities. Students with a high level of self-efficacy will select more challenging learning tasks, therefore expending more persistence and effort to obtain higher achievement outcomes, whereas students with low level of self-efficacy will avoid difficult and challenging tasks that require more effort and persistence, and thus, obtain lower achievement outcomes. Figure 1 The Development of Academic Self Efficacy ( Adapted from Schunk and Pajares, 2001) Familial Influence on Self-Efficacy Peer Influence Role of Schooling Transitional Influences Developmental Changes in Self-Appraisal Skill Gender Differences Ethnic Differences ACADEMIC SELF EFFICACY Students with higher self-efficacy expend greater effort, exhibit more persistence and demonstrate greater resilience in the face of adverse situations. As a result of these influences, self-efficacy beliefs are strong determinants of the level of accomplishment (Bandura, 1997; Pajares, 1996), and therefore contribute tremendously to intellectual development which leads to academic success (Bandura, 1995). In addition, the research literature includes several studies which emphasize the effect of self-efficacy on numerous positive outcomes as well as academic achievement. In this case, not only has self-efficacy been found to positively relate to higher levels of achievement, but also it has a strong association with a variety of adaptive academic 30 outcomes such as higher levels of effort and increased persistence on difficult tasks. This finding has been confirmed across a number of experimental and correlational studies involving students of different ages (Bandura, 1997; Pintrich Schunk, 2002). Also, in a correlational study conducted by Linnenbrink and Pintrich (2002), was found that self- efficacy is positively related to student cognitive engagement and their use of self- regulatory strategies as well as general achievement as indexed by grades (Pintrich, 2000b; Pintrich De Groot, 1990; Wolters, Yu, Pintrich, 1996). Lastly, further evidence exists in the research literature that confirms Schunks hypothesis that students who have positive self-efficacy beliefs are more likely to choose to continue to take more difficult courses over the course of schooling (Eccles et al., 1998). Although several studies confirm the positive effect of self-efficacy on academic achievement, there also seems to be a number of other mediating influences or related variables that provide further explanation of this relationship. In view of possible mediating influences, there exist contradictions in the literature regarding the exact nature of the relationship of self-efficacy with other related variables (e.g., goal orientation, motivation) in explaining positive academic outcomes, as well as its precise strength in predicting academic achievement, irrespective of these variables. Such discrepancies in the research literature should be considered in examining the effect of self-efficacy on academic achievement. The finding that self-efficacy beliefs tend to decline as students advance through school (Pintrich Schunk, 1996) has been attributed to various factors, including greater competition, more norm-referenced grading, less teacher attention to individual student progress, a nd stresses associated with school transitions. These and other school practices can weaken academic self efficacy, especially among students who are less academically prepared to cope with increasingly challenging academic tasks. Lock-step sequences of instruction frustrate some students who fail to grasp skills and increasingly fall behind their peers (Bandura, 1997). Ability groupings can lower self-efficacy among those relegated to lower groups. Classrooms that allow for much social comparison tend to lower the self-efficacy of students who find their performances inferior to those of their peers. Students involvement and participation in school depend in part on how much the school environment contributes to their perceptions of autonomy and relatedness, which in turn influence self-efficacy and academic achievement. Although parents and teachers contribute to feeling of autonomy and relatedness, peers become highly significant during adolescence. The peer group context enhances or diminishes students feelings of belonging and affiliation (Hymel, Comfort, Schonert-Reichl, McDougall, 1996). 2.6 Social support College students may seek social and emotional support from their family and friends. Social support, or receiving emotional, informational, and/or tangible support from other individuals (Lazarus Folkman, 1984), has been linked positively with the maintenance of physical health during stressful situations. In addition, the perceived availability of social support, rather than the actual use of social support, may actually be more important in protecting individuals from the harmful effects of stressful situations (Holahan Moos, 1987). Further, social support may be an important component of college students transitioning successfully to the college environment (Hays Oxley, 1986) and college students academic achievement (DeBerard et al., 2004), with low levels of social support being related to a lack of persistence in academic endeavors (Mallinckrodt, 1988). Given these findings, it is possible that support from family and friends is extremely important in the lives of college students during their college careers, particularly as they experience and make attempts to cope with academic-related stress. For example, one study using a sample of first- and second-year college students, most of whom were without daily parental contact, showed that parental support predicted significantly the grade point average (GPA) of these students. In contrast, support from friends and romantic partners did not predict GPA significantly (Cutrona et al., 1994). These results indicated that, although parents may be removed physically from college students daily life, they still may have a major impact on college students academic performance. As a result, the perceived level of emotional support from college students parents may be related greatly to many aspects of their college career, including their academic performance and their experience of academic- related stress. 2.6.1 Parental support Seminal attachment theories developed by Bowlby (1969) and Ainsworth and

Drown Compare & contrast :: essays research papers

In this Paper I will compare and contrast the some of the relationships in "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker, to Drown by Junot Diaz. Dee and maggie are sister in "Everyday Use". Dee is outgoing and ambitious, Maggie is shy and lazy. Maggie envies Dee, but also fears her. They act more like co-workers than siblings. In the story they don't appear to interact with each other often, which makes it difficult to develop a relationship.From the story it doesn't illustrate them ever having a close connection probably due to Maggie's shyness and envy. Alice Walker writes "Maggie will be be nervous until after her sister goes: she will stand hopelessly in corners homely and ashamed of the burn scars down her arms and legs, eyeing her sister with a mixture of envy and awe. She thinks her sister has held life always in the palm of one hand, that "no" is a word never learned to say to her." Dee(Wangero) is the most dominant one out of the two, which is no surprise since she tries take the quilts from Dee (Wangero). I found it I found it odd that she wanted those quilts because of her he ritage, when she completely disgraced her heritage when she traded her own name in for Wangero. Alice writes : "You know as well as me yhou was named after you aunt Dicie." I said. Dicie is my sister, She name Dee. We called her "Big Dee" after Dee was born. "But who was she named after?" asked Wangero. "I guess agter Grandma Dee," I said. "And who was she name after?" asked Wangero. "Her mother," I said, and saw Wangero was getting tired. "That's about as far back as I can trace it," I said. Though, in fact, I probably could have carried it back beyond the civil war through the branches. Her name had been passed down from generation to generation before Dee received it. Obviously the name had great importance in her family. Her mother could trace the name back to the civil war and connect it with specific people in her family. Alice Walker write's "you just don't understand," she said , as Maggie and I came out to the car. "what don't I understand?" I wanted to know. "Your heritage," she said".She criticize her mother about not understanding their heritage though, she places her heritage on those quilts instead of continuing the family name that was handed down to her.

The Host Chapter 15: Guarded

When I came to, there was no disorientation. I knew exactly where I was, roughly speaking, and I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even. I tried to learn as much as I could about my exact situation without giving away the fact that I was conscious again. I was hungry. My stomach knotted and clenched and made angry noises. I doubted these noises would betray me-I was sure it had gurgled and complained as I slept. My head ached fiercely. It was impossible to know how much of this was from fatigue and how much was from the knocks I'd taken. I was lying on a hard surface. It was rough and†¦ pocked. It was not flat, but oddly curved, as though I was lying in a shallow bowl. It was not comfortable. My back and hips throbbed from being curled into this position. That pain was probably what had woken me; I felt far from rested. It was dark-I could tell that without opening my eyes. Not pitch-black, but very dark. The air was even mustier than before-humid and corroded, with a peculiar acrid bite that seemed to cling to the back of my throat. The temperature was cooler than it had been in the desert, but the incongruous moisture made it almost as uncomfortable. I was sweating again, the water Jeb had given me finding its way out through my pores. I could hear my breathing echo back to me from a few feet away. It could be that I was only close to one wall, but I guessed that I was in a very small space. I listened as hard as I could, and it sounded like my breathing echoed back from the other side as well. Knowing that I was probably still somewhere in the cavern system Jeb had brought me to, I was fairly sure what I would see when I opened my eyes. I must be in some small hole in the rock, dark purple brown and riddled with holes like cheese. It was silent except for the sounds my body made. Afraid to open my eyes, I relied on my ears, straining harder and harder against the silence. I couldn't hear anyone else, and this made no sense. They wouldn't have left me without a warden, would they? Uncle Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To leave me alone†¦ that wouldn't be in character with their brutality, their natural fear and hatred of what I was. Unless†¦ I tried to swallow, but terror closed my throat. They wouldn't leave me alone. Not unless they thought I was dead, or had made sure that I would be. Not unless there were places in these caves that no one came back from. The picture I'd been forming of my surroundings shifted dizzyingly in my head. I saw myself now at the bottom of a deep shaft or walled into a cramped tomb. My breathing sped up, tasting the air for staleness, for some sign that my oxygen was running low. The muscles around my lungs pulled outward, filling with air for the scream that was on the way. I clenched my teeth to keep it from escaping. Sharp and close, something grated across the ground beside my head. I shrieked, and the sound of it was piercing in the small space. My eyes flew open. I jerked away from the sinister noise, throwing myself against a jagged rock wall. My hands swung up to protect my face as my head thunked painfully against the low ceiling. A dim light illuminated the perfectly round exit to the tiny bubble of a cave I was curled in. Jared's face was half lit as he leaned into the opening, one arm reaching toward me. His lips were tight with anger. A vein in his forehead pulsed as he watched my panicked reaction. He didn't move; he just stared furiously while my heart restarted and my breathing evened out. I met his glare, remembering how quiet he had always been-like a wraith when he wanted. No wonder I hadn't heard him sitting guard outside my cell. But I had heard something. As I remembered that, Jared shoved his extended arm closer, and the grating noise repeated. I looked down. At my feet was a broken sheet of plastic serving as a tray. And on it†¦ I lunged for the open bottle of water. I was barely aware that Jared's mouth twisted with disgust as I jerked the bottle to my lips. I was sure that would bother me later, but all I cared about now was the water. I wondered if ever in my life I would take the liquid for granted again. Given that my life was not likely to be prolonged here, the answer was probably no. Jared had disappeared, back through the circular entry. I could see a piece of his sleeve and nothing more. The dull light came from somewhere beside him. It was an artificial bluish color. I'd gulped half the water down when a new scent caught my attention, informing me that water was not the only gift. I looked down at the tray again. Food. They were feeding me? It was the bread-a dark, unevenly shaped roll-that I smelled first, but there was also a bowl of some clear liquid with the tang of onions. As I leaned closer, I could see darker chunks on the bottom. Beside this were three stubby white tubes. I guessed they were vegetables, but I didn't recognize the variety. It took only seconds for me to make these discoveries, but even in that short time, my stomach nearly jumped through my mouth trying to reach the food. I ripped into the bread. It was very dense, studded with whole-grain kernels that caught in my teeth. The texture was gritty, but the flavor was wonderfully rich. I couldn't remember anything tasting more delicious to me, not even my mushed-up Twinkies. My jaw worked as fast as it could, but I swallowed most of the mouthfuls of tough bread half-chewed. I could hear each mouthful hit my stomach with a gurgle. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. Too long empty, my stomach reacted to the food with discomfort. I ignored that and moved on to the liquid-it was soup. This went down easier. Aside from the onions I'd smelled, the taste was mild. The green chunks were soft and spongy. I drank it straight from the bowl and wished the bowl were deeper. I tipped it back to make sure I'd gotten every drop. The white vegetables were crunchy in texture, woody in taste. Some kind of root. They weren't as satisfying as the soup or as tasty as the bread, but I was grateful for their bulk. I wasn't full-not close-and I probably would have started on the tray next if I thought I'd be able to chew through it. It didn't occur to me until I was finished that they shouldn't be feeding me. Not unless Jared had lost the confrontation with the doctor. Though why would Jared be my guard if that were the case? I slid the tray away when it was empty, cringing at the noise it made. I stayed pressed against the back wall of my bubble as Jared reached in to retrieve it. This time he didn't look at me. â€Å"Thank you,† I whispered as he disappeared again. He said nothing; there was no change in his face. Even the bit of his sleeve did not show this time, but I was sure he was there. I can't believe he hit me, Melanie mused, her thought incredulous rather than resentful. She was not over the surprise of it yet. I hadn't been surprised in the first place. Of course he had hit me. I wondered where you were, I answered. It would be poor manners to get me into this mess and then abandon me. She ignored my sour tone. I wouldn't have thought he'd be able to do it, no matter what. I don't think I could hit him. Sure you could. If he'd come at you with reflective eyes, you'd have done the same. You're naturally violent. I remembered her daydreams of strangling the Seeker. That seemed like months ago, though I knew it was only days. It would make sense if it had been longer. It ought to take time to get oneself stuck in such a disastrous mire as the one I was in now. Melanie tried to consider it impartially. I don't think so. Not Jared†¦ and Jamie, there's no way I could hurt Jamie, even if he was†¦ She trailed off, hating that line of thought. I considered this and found it true. Even if the child had become something or someone else, neither she nor I could ever raise a hand to him. That's different. You're like†¦ a mother. Mothers are irrational here. Too many emotions involved. Motherhood is always emotional-even for you souls. I didn't answer that. What do you think is going to happen now? You're the expert on humans, I reminded her. It's probably not a good thing that they're giving me food. I can think of only one reason they'd want me strong. The few specifics I remembered of historical human brutalities tangled in my head with the stories in the old newspaper we'd read the other day. Fire-that was a bad one. Melanie had burned all the fingerprints off her right hand once in a stupid accident, grabbing a pan she hadn't realized was hot. I remembered how the pain had shocked her-it was so unexpectedly sharp and demanding. It was just an accident, though. Quickly treated with ice, salves, medicine. No one had done it on purpose, continued on from the first sickening pain, drawing it out longer and longer†¦ I'd never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds-the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions†¦ the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world? I†¦ felt something when he hit you, Melanie interrupted. The words came slowly, one by one, as if she didn't want to think them. I felt something, too. It was amazing how natural it was to use sarcasm now, after spending so much time with Melanie. He's got quite a backhand, doesn't he? That's not what I meant. I mean†¦ She hesitated for a long moment, and then the rest of the words came in a rush. I thought it was all me-the way we feel about him. I thought I was†¦ in control of that. The thoughts behind her words were clearer than the words themselves. You thought you were able to bring me here because you wanted it so much. That you were controlling me instead of the other way around. I tried not to be annoyed. You thought you were manipulating me. Yes. The chagrin in her tone was not because I was upset, but because she did not like being wrong. But†¦ I waited. It came in a rush once more. You're in love with him, too, separately from me. It feels different from the way I feel. Other. I didn't see that until he was there with us, until you saw him for the first time. How did that happen? How does a three-inch-long worm fall in love with a human being? Worm? Sorry. I guess you sort of have†¦ limbs. Not really. They're more like antennae. And I'm quite a bit longer than three inches when they're extended. My point is, he's not your species. My body is human, I told her. While I'm attached to it, I'm human, too. And the way you see Jared in your memories†¦ Well, it's all your fault. She considered that for a moment. She didn't like it much. So if you had gone to Tucson and gotten a new body, you wouldn't love him anymore now? I really, really hope that's true. Neither of us was happy with my answer. I leaned my head against the top of my knees. Melanie changed the subject. At least Jamie is safe. I knew Jared would take care of him. If I had to leave him, I couldn't have left him in better hands†¦ I wish I could see him. I'm not asking that! I cringed at the thought of the response that request would receive. At the same time, I yearned to see the boy's face for myself. I wanted to be sure that he was really here, really safe-that they were feeding him and caring for him the way Melanie never could again. The way I, mother to no one, wanted to care for him. Did he have someone to sing to him at night? To tell him stories? Would this new, angry Jared think of little things like that? Did he have someone to curl up against when he was frightened? Do you think they will tell him that I'm here? Melanie asked. Would that help or hurt him? I asked back. Her thought was a whisper. I don't know†¦ I wish I could tell him that I kept my promise. You certainly did. I shook my head, amazed. No one can say that you didn't come back, just like always. Thanks for that. Her voice was faint. I couldn't tell if she meant for my words now, or if she meant the bigger picture, bringing her here. I was suddenly exhausted, and I could feel that she was, too. Now that my stomach had settled a bit and felt almost halfway full, the rest of my pains were not sharp enough to keep me awake. I hesitated before moving, afraid to make any noise, but my body wanted to uncurl and stretch out. I did so as silently as I could, trying to find a piece of the bubble long enough for me. Finally, I had to stick my feet almost out the round opening. I didn't like doing it, worried that Jared would hear the movement close to him and think I was trying to escape, but he didn't react in any way. I pillowed the good side of my face against my arm, tried to ignore the way the curve of the floor cramped my spine, and closed my eyes. I think I slept, but if I did, it wasn't deeply. The sound of footsteps was still very far away when I came fully awake. This time I opened my eyes at once. Nothing had changed-I still could see the dull blue light through the round hole; I still could not see if Jared was outside it. Someone was coming this way-it was easy to hear that the footsteps were coming closer. I pulled my legs away from the opening, moving as quietly as I could, and curled up against the back wall again. I would have liked to be able to stand; it would have made me feel less vulnerable, more prepared to face whatever was coming. The low ceiling of the cave bubble would barely have allowed me to kneel. There was a flash of movement outside my prison. I saw part of Jared's foot as he rose silently to his feet. â€Å"Ah. Here you are,† a man said. The words were so loud after all the empty silence that I jumped. I recognized the voice. One of the brothers I'd seen in the desert-the one with the machete, Kyle. Jared didn't speak. â€Å"We're not going to allow this, Jared.† It was a different speaker, a more reasonable voice. Probably the younger brother, Ian. The brothers' voices were very similar-or they would have been, if Kyle weren't always half shouting, his tone always twisted with anger. â€Å"We've all lost somebody-hell, we've all lost everybody. But this is ridiculous.† â€Å"If you won't let Doc have it, then it's got to die,† Kyle added, his voice a growl. â€Å"You can't keep it prisoner here,† Ian continued. â€Å"Eventually, it will escape and we'll all be exposed.† Jared didn't speak, but he took one side step that put him directly in front of the opening to my cell. My heart pumped hard and fast as I understood what the brothers were saying. Jared had won. I was not to be tortured. I was not to be killed-not immediately, anyway. Jared was keeping me prisoner. It seemed a beautiful word under the circumstances. I told you he would protect us. â€Å"Don't make this difficult, Jared,† said a new male voice I didn't recognize. â€Å"It has to be done.† Jared said nothing. â€Å"We don't want to hurt you, Jared. We're all brothers here. But we will if you make us.† There was no bluff in Kyle's tone. â€Å"Move aside.† Jared stood rock still. My heart started thumping faster than before, jerking against my ribs so hard that the hammering disrupted the rhythm of my lungs, made it difficult to breathe. Melanie was incapacitated with fear, unable to think in coherent words. They were going to hurt him. Those lunatic humans were going to attack one of their own. â€Å"Jared†¦ please,† Ian said. Jared didn't answer. A heavy footfall-a lunge-and the sound of something heavy hitting something solid. A gasp, a choking gurgle – â€Å"No!† I cried, and launched myself through the round hole.

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